Dating a Friend’s Ex: Is it Ever Okay?

Subscriber Account active since. Sometimes when you develop feelings they happen to be for your friend’s ex. But, pursuing these feelings might not always be worth it. Here are some potential red flags to consider if you’re trying to decide whether or not dating someone your friend has dated is a good idea. Whether the relationship went down in flames or if two people who truly loved each other realized that things just weren’t going to work out, most breakups can be tough. And some can be worse than others. If your friend is still reeling over their split, it’s best to be there for them — not move on to their ex yourself.

You’re Not a Bad Person for Wanting to Date Your Friend’s Ex, But You Need to Do It Right

Want to discuss? Please read our Commenting Policy first. Communication is vital if maintaining the friendship is important to you. Indifference is the opposite of love.

Curious about protocol for dating a friend’s ex? Not off-limits. Here, a relationship expert shares the best way to go about broaching the subject.

Dear Carolyn: About 20 years ago, my husband and I befriended this other couple. We were all recently married then. The husbands had a falling out seven years ago and we all stopped speaking. She particularly shunned me after their argument, which had nothing to do with me or her. I felt pretty sad but moved on. Fast forward to when I was divorced for one year and they were separated and in divorce proceedings.

He and I reconnected and started dating, and we have fallen in love. While we never even flirted while we were all married, we always got along. I have never been happier in my life. It was all above board, no shenanigans. He is now divorced and upon finding out about us, she has had a major meltdown.

My ex is flirting with my friend what should I do?

I was married for 13 years before I finally cut ties with my ex and we got divorced. My ex-husband and I are great at co-parenting. I have full custody and he has visitation. I knew I would struggle financially and was prepared to give up my cell phone, cable TV, eating out, and even the possibility of having to move to a smaller house or apartment.

Sometimes dating your friend’s ex is all good, and sometime it’s 10 Questions to Ask Yourself Before You Decide To Date a Friend’s Ex If you haven’t noticed, there are some who feel strongly that if the couple isn’t married, there are from Sunday and both eventually said, I’m over it, the ex could be fair.

I always thought break-ups were simple affairs. Much better to take a practical approach: delete their number, block their social media accounts and purge their leftover belongings from your home. He was my best friend. We grew up together in Sydney and had one of those freakishly close relationships that only really develop during childhood. We shared everything: from school gossip to family problems. He was the first person I came out to, and I was his.

We started going out in our mid-twenties when he moved back to Sydney after several years away. The relationship was, well, complicated. Every conversation seemed to turn into an argument. I wish I could say there were good parts but the truth is, it was ugly from the start. I was vile, and he was vile back. And because we were already so close, we knew where to land our verbal punches. We lasted about 18 months.

9 signs you probably shouldn’t date your friend’s ex

Being friends with an ex is always a tricky business. The truth is, marriage shouldn’t be the dealbreaker. Sometimes, being friends with an ex is totally natural. Either you dated a long time ago or your relationship was never that serious, so it was easy to transition.

About 20 years ago, my husband and I befriended this other couple. Woman unsure about dating former friend’s ex-husband She also — ironically and unwittingly I’m sure — gives you and her ex more reason to feel joy.

As Certified Relationship Coaches, we often get an inbox on our website asking us for the politically correct answer, what are the rules? Overall, we agree it is a case-by-case situation and you should tread lightly. Ask yourself, is it worth the risk? Follow Us. Skip to content. Is this a childhood friend or someone you consider a best friend or sister? Would you be devastated if she never spoke to you again? Is your friend happy in her new relationship and has long moved on? If this ex was someone that was a fling, a relatively short-term relationship and not the former love of her life, we would say proceed and see where things go Can you imagine if one of them is thinking in the back of their mind that they would be open to trying again if their current circumstances were different, i.

A good question to ask is how did the relationship end and would either of them ever be open to trying again? A tough question but you really need to know the answer. The reason is, she is going to accuse you or feel as if you had another agenda the entire time. Steer clear of him…..

10 Questions to Ask Yourself Before You Decide To Date a Friend’s Ex

After having dated someone for a while you usually introduce them to your friends and they introduce you to theirs. If you have been dating long enough or even married, friends actually become mutual and one can forget who they were friends with first. After a breakup mutual friends are often times put in a very difficult situation as they are left to pick sides.

CMV: My best friend has no right to date my ex-husband. [∆(s) from OP] I’m not going as extreme as to say we live in a 3rd world country. But by the standards.

By Tracey Cox for MailOnline. Celebrities are always at it. We all feel ownership over our exes, especially if the relationship was serious. Is it an acquaintance or a not so close friend? The less well you know the person, the more acceptable it is to date their ex. Is it love or is it lust? Is this a passing fancy or a potential love of your life? Most friendships last a lot longer than relationships, with few making it past the three month mark.

The only way you might be OK is if the relationship was never serious they dated for a couple or weeks or a month or two and stayed friends. How old are you both? Tracey Cox says we all feel ownership over our exes, especially if the relationship was serious.

It’s never OK to date your friend’s ex – and this is why

Dating now. Dating my bf. You might not think your friendship with dating now bringing oath and she told him. Ambitious and she cheated on a man -a. Register to date their good friend and i talk to get my friend.

“There are no actual rules when it comes to dating a friend’s ex, but it “Say to them, ‘I have something I want to share with you and I’m very.

Yes, you may as many people tend to get completely wrapped up in your own feelings and give the middle finger to anyone who tries to tell you otherwise, but if one of your besties decided to start humping your ex, would you be supportive or forgiving? Thirdly, yet without intending to come across as territorial in a caveman-defecating-on-his-patch-of-land sort of way, that person was with you and was part of your life. They were someone who significantly contributed to shaping the person you are today.

Anyone familiar with Friends will be fully aware of how often they swapped and shared partners. Not only is that his best friend, but he massively betrayed him. Being honest, showing respect, and having trust in one another is the key trinity to BFFs. MORE: The 6 types of relationship you need to have experienced before you even consider marriage. Follow Metro. The Fix The daily lifestyle email from Metro.

Woman unsure about dating former friend’s ex-husband

It all comes down to how your friend feels about it. You were a good friend and kept your feelings to yourself for long enough. It was a mutual breakup with no hard feelings. This is the ideal situation.

Staying friends may allow you to stay in the loop about their dating life and even give you some influence over it—a tempting prospect. But becoming your ex’s.

While it’s natural to jump to conclusions and assume the worst if your partner is friends with their ex , it’s important to keep in mind that many people remain friends after a breakup — in a perfectly healthy, mature, and respectable way. That’s not to say, though, that all friendships are healthy, or that all exes remain in contact for the right reasons.

So, if something doesn’t feel right, be sure to speak up. Do they hang out with you? Do you feel respected? Are there clear and healthy boundaries? If so, their friendship is likely nothing to worry about. If you feel bad, though, there may be a reason why. Here are a few times it’s OK for your partner to be friends with their ex , and other times when it may not be, according to experts. If your partner shares mutual friends with their ex, the two of them may make the decision to remain friends — especially if they run into each other fairly regularly.

And as long as everyone’s OK with it, then this type of friendship can be perfectly healthy. It may be a good idea, however, for you to become a part of the group as well. If your partner and their ex were really great friends before they started dating, they’ll likely want to eventually go back to being friends.

7 Times It’s OK For Your Partner To Be Friends With Their Ex & 7 Times It’s Definitely Not

It started our innocently enough. Brian had been divorced for three years when he filled out the cumbersome eHarmony profile. Looking through all the profiles on other dating sites was daunting, so he decided to let a computer do the mate selection for him.

Honestly, when it comes to dating a friends ex I think it really There are different variables that in my opinion make it understandable or make it a very questionable. I’m just saying it isn’t worth ruining a friendship over some sex. As well as if the friend has moved on to better things or even married now.

When it came to my marriage, I told my best friend absolutely everything. Now, I know that was a huge mistake. My ex-husband is now dating my best friend and now I am broken. Our kids went to school together and two of our daughters played in the same netball team. I really leaned on Amber in many ways. She was always kind, always willing to help me and, because we both went through a divorce around the same time, we had a lot to say to each other — particularly when it came to talking about our ex-husbands.

Few topics were off limits, from our sex lives to everything that revolved around the complexities of a family breakup. She knows a lot of intimate details about my marriage and subsequent breakdown. She knows that I was a victim of emotional and financial abuse. But, four years down the track, she rarely speaks to me. Our friendship has completely dissolved and, in my eyes, is irreparable.

Ask Fiona: I left my husband – but I’m still angry that he’s now seeing my friend

Last Updated: September 1, References. She provides therapy to people who struggle with addictions, mental health, and trauma in community health settings and private practice. There are 14 references cited in this article, which can be found at the bottom of the page. This article has been viewed , times.

is it ok to date my friend’s ex Some reports indicate the relationship between the married couple was already over by the time Cowell moved in. Others claim.

It just sort of happened. In discussing this topic with my female friends, it seems to me that men are especially experienced in dealing with this dilemma. Say a friend of mine breaks up with so-and-so, and we run into her at a party. In some ways this is perfectly natural. This sort of stuff happens more than you might think. But you do need to make sure you go about this right.

Anyone who has had any sort of meaningful romantic relationship can tell you that—over it or not—it would be difficult for them to be around their ex. A buddy of mine recently mentioned that he might invite my ex to a party that we were going to and asked what I thought about that. Breakups require space. We all know the difference between a fling and something more. Why not go out with the other girls first?

Seems like a no-brainer to me. I hope we can all agree that our friendships are more important to us than a few exciting dates with the next best thing.

Can You Date A Friend’s Ex?